Every morning, before I leave for the day, I look in the mirror on my bureau, checking my appearance.  I feel blessed at what I see in that mirror.  Not my reflection, but the several  items carefully arranged on my bureau.  There are a few rocks, two small trinket boxes, a note from Scott, and four cards.  The objects hold memories but the cards are what make me smile over and over again.

All are from friends, all came unexpectedly, all hold messages that touched my heart.  The messages they brought were ones of friendship, caring, thanks and encouragement.  They also brought smiles and tears. Every time I see them I am reminded that someone cared enough to pick out a card, write out a note, look up my address, buy a stamp and mail the darn thing. If someone goes to all that trouble, you better believe that you matter to them!

While these four cards sit on my bureau, there are other special notes that are tucked away where I can discover them again and again.  In my Bible, in my nightstand, tacked up on my bulletin board. They are written on post-it notes, on pricey Hallmark cards, notebook paper, fancy stationary, and even one from my cousin on an empty cereal box.  It’s these cards and letters that never fail to lift my spirits and remind me what a difference a few words can make.

Goal #4: Write 52 Cards and Letters. I wanted to pass along the sense of happiness that I feel each time I open the mailbox and find a personal letter hidden among the bills and catalogs. Standard thank yous for gifts, emails and holiday cards with generic signatures  don’t count.  These 52 communications have to have a personal note of gratitude about how that person impacted me, words of friendship or encouragement, or just be a newsy letter to someone I care about.

I’ve written 15 so far and I’m starting to get the hang of it.  I’ve figured out that it’s not enough to think about writing the letter, I have to actually write it. And once I’ve written the note, I actually need to mail it. Yup, MAIL IT!  Show of hands, how many of us have piles of unsent cards, waiting for the address or the stamp?  And seriously, is it bad taste to send a ‘Congratulations on Your Baby’ card when the child is 4 years old?

These are the tricks that helped me:

1. Be prepared: Buy stamps in advance. Put the stamps with your address book in an easily accessible spot.
2. Browse through the card rack at the grocery store or gift shop.  A certain card will remind you of a former co-worker and you will be sparked to write to them.
3. Carry pen and note cards with you.  Stuck waiting for an appointment? Write a note.
4. Don’t fret over not saying enough or saying too much or not using the right words.   Write from the heart and know it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be YOU.
5. Don’t have a card or fancy stationary? Don’t worry and don’t wait.  Any paper will do. It’s better to get the note down before the inspiration passes.
6. Address that envelope NOW.  Don’t wait until tomorrow.  Do it right away. (Aren’t you glad you put the stamps with the address book?) Put the card/letter with your keys so it goes out in mailbox the next morning.
7. Most importantly: put the address book & stamps back where you can find them again tomorrow.

Who in your life deserves a letter?  Who might need a smile?  Heard a song that reminds you of a childhood friend? Share that memory.  Did a former neighbor make the best chocolate chip cookies? Tell her. Read a cartoon that reminds you of your brother? Send it to him.  Believe me, just knowing you thought of them and decided they were worth that 49¢ stamp will make their day.

Today marks the end of the 26th week after my birthday in August.  On the calendar I’m 1/2 way through the 52 project. On paper, not so much.

Here are the stats: Out of the 43 goals on my list, I’ve only completed 5. While that may seem like a small amount, it doesn’t damper my spirit.  I have to see the whole picture.  The most important fact is that at least 12 of these things will take the whole year to complete.  For instance, walking 52 miles a month can’t be completed until the last month.  Another 7 are over 50% complete. 11 others will take less than a day to accomplish once I start them. So, all in all, I’m in good shape. What’s more worrisome is that I still have 9 goals to come up with.  Suggestions please! I need inspiration

The seven I have completed?  I can already say that this project has lasting effects.

#16: Let 52 people out in traffic. Completed November 5th.  I commute at least 30 minutes each way to work.  Going in is good, coming home is a trial.  By taking a few extra seconds to let someone out in traffic, actually looking for the opportunity to do so, made my blood pressure go down and helped me relax at a time when I would normally get super stressed.  Not only does it make me feel good, it’s a boost to get the smile and wave from the person you let out into traffic.  When the kids in the back seat, turn and wave at you, it’s a bonus!

#18: Reading 52 Newspapers, completed November 25th, 2015.  I used to feel I could pass the Jeopardy test, could hold my own in a discussion of World issues. After a couple years of grief and emotional turmoil, I was feeling out of the loop with current events. This goal got me back into the groove and I’m still reading (okay, skimming) a couple of papers every day.  I also find myself seeking out NPR and news on other media.  It helps that we have the most fascinating election in modern history in front of us!

#22: Eating 5 servings of fruits and veggies in a day for 52 days.  Completed January 29, 2016.  Already wrote about this – still meeting or surpassing the 5 servings on most days.

#24: Clean up 52 contacts on my phone.  Completed on January 24th, 2016.  I did not need the phone number for the guy I met on Match.com in 2007.  Seriously, what was up with that?

#26: Plant 52 daffodil bulbs. Completed October 24th, 2015.  My favorite so far!  I planted bulbs at the edges of my new garden out back.  In two short months, I should be rewarded with a display of daffodils blooming to welcome Spring.  Better yet, this gift should spread with each year as the daffodils should naturalize through the woods and garden.

I can say that I am more mindful of how I choose to spend my time since starting this project.  I am more centered and am spending more time on the things that matter to me. While the list may seem too long to some, it seems just right to me.  Every day I can find success somewhere on the list. The five minutes I sit and pet my cat in the morning?  That counts.  And because things like reading a book and pampering my feet are on the list, I’m more apt to allow myself these luxuries.  When I compare my satisfaction with my life in August of last year to my satisfaction today, I can definitely say this project is a success.

I realized I should post the full list of the 52 goals I am trying to achieve. So, here it is, in all it’s glory.  Long winded, as I tend to be.  Quirky like me as well. Criteria for being on the list was one of the following: had to improve the quality of my life, be something that brings me joy, something that I’ve been putting off, and it had to be positive.

1. Read 52 books. The item that inspired this project. No other explanation needed.
2. Empty 52 boxes. There are two rooms in my basement filled with boxes.  Books, toys, and memories.  Time to clean out and organize.  T
3. Walk 52 miles per month.
4.  Write 52 cards or letters.  Real hand-written letters or carefully chosen cards.  Nothing beats getting snail mail from a friend.
5. Hang pictures and create scrapbook pages for a total of 52 pictures and pages. Lots of wonderful memories to capture – family pictures on the wall or in a scrapbook.
6. Take the bus to work 52 times.  Not only could I reduce my carbon footprint, I could also gain a half hour each way to read or surf the web.
7. Play 52 rounds of games with family and friends.  I love a good board game.  No, Words with Friends does not count!
8. Brew 52 pots of tea. Time to pull out those wonderful mugs, teapots, and enjoy a warm cup of tea. (plus it’s better for me than wine. )
9. Bake 52 dozen cookies.  Or brownies.  Or quick breads.  And share them with friends and family.  Baking = Joy
10. Feed 52 people around my table. We’ve discussed this already!
11. Write a list of 52 things I am thankful for.  Have an attitude of gratitude.
12. Spend 52 minutes in prayer each week month.  Yeah, not that easy.
13. Donate 52 items: What to do with the items from #2?  Give them a second life.
14. Print out 104 emails. 52 x 2 = 104.  Scott and I exchanged over 800 emails during the  months prior to our marriage. I started a book with hard copies of our email exchange as my gift to him on our first anniversary.  Time to finish it.
15. Private financial goal – A girl’s allowed to have some secrets. 😉
16. Let 52 people out in traffic out in traffic. A simple act that takes the stress out of commuting.
17. Write 52 blog/journal entries. Writing was a joy and therapy when I was a teenager.
18. Read 52 newspapers. (Not 52 different newspapers, silly!) I’ve fallen behind in keeping up on current events.  I was feeling ignorant going into the election cycle.
19. Pamper my feet 52 times.
20. Pay it forward 52 times.
21. Floss 52 times.  (Flossing adds YEARS to your life!)
22. Eat 5 servings of fruits and veggies per day, 52 times.
23. Unsubscribe to 52 email lists.
24. Delete 52 contacts on my phone. The pediatrician was still listed even though the kids haven’t gone there in years.
25. Delete 52 email contacts from gmail.  Still had the email for a woman who I did a project with in grad school a decade ago!
26. Plant 52 daffodil bulbs. (Finished this one first – in October!)
27. Bellydance for at least 1/2 hour, 52 times.
28. Work with arm weights, 15 minutes at a time, 52 times.
29. Donate 52 times to the missions supported by St. Pauls UMC.
30. Mail 52 Christmas cards. (Although now they are New Year’s cards!)
31. Give myself 52 manicures.
32. Spend 52 hours outside.
33. Try 52 new recipes.
34. “Go out” 52 times. With friends or on my own, to dinner, to classes, other activities.
35. Go through my 10 minute stretching routine on 52 mornings.
36. Stop for at least a 15 minute lunch break 52 times.
37. Spend 52 minutes a week actively playing or petting my cats for 26 weeks.
38. During my ‘free time’ go for 52 hours without touching my cellphone.
39. Make a timeline of my life with 52 separate entries.
40. Delete 5200 emails from my gmail account. (please don’t judge me!)
41. Get 8 hours of sleep on 52 nights.
42. Watch/Listen to 52 TedTalks.
43. Find out one new fact about 52 different people.
44. – 52. Still in development.  Suggestions, anyone?

Week 23 of my 52nd year just ended and my progress isn’t very impressive.  I have only completed four goals on the list and the list is still incomplete with only 40 items.  Instead of getting frustrated, I’m trying to celebrate what I have achieved.  This week I did a happy dance when I checked off #22: Eat 5 fruits and veggies in a day 52 times.

When I was inspired to start the 52 Project, I made a vow to myself to keep items off the list that seemed punitive or negative.  No “lose 26 pounds” on my list.  Instead, I thought about habits I WANTED to cultivate that I felt would have a positive benefit on my health.  I know that one area that could use improvement is the amount of fruits and veggies that are in my diet.  Ask me to list my favorite foods and I’ll respond with strawberries, lemons, clementines, carrots, radishes,  cabbage, and onions.  But they haven’t been a staple in my diet. Living on my own has led me to take less care with what I eat.  I had simply fallen out of the habit of eating well.  Or maybe I had fallen into the habit of eating poorly. Either way, I wanted to change that.

I once heard a statement that it takes 40 days to start or break a new habit. Some sources say it only takes 21 days, others say both those numbers are a myth.  (See the links below if you want to explore this yourself.)  In any case, it seems to me that doing anything 52 times should set it up for becoming a routine ingrained in my life. Setting a goal to eat the minimum recommended number of fruits and veggies a day was a no-brainer.

How did it go?  It was difficult.  Seriously, 161 days have gone by since I set this goal and I just achieved eating 5 servings of fruits & veggies on 52 days. That means that on over 1/3 of the days, I didn’t achieve the goal. That’s humbling.  Until I started to analyze how my eating has changed. That has helped me put it in perspective.

At first I had a couple of big barriers to overcome.   I didn’t have fruit and veggies in my house.  Raising my family, I bought fruits and veggies in large quantities. Heck, Scott would eat 3-4 apples a day, so I was used to buying large bags of apples. But now, the apples would go bad before I could eat more than one or two. I don’t like to waste food.  So I stopped buying apples. The second barrier was that preparing fruits and veggies took  time.  Rushing out of the house in the morning and being exhausted when I returned home was not conducive to preparing salads or roasting vegetables. As I acknowledged these facts, I was able to put myself in a position to succeed.  I bought smaller quantities of food: three perfect apples vs a 5 lb bag of apples. I took shortcuts such as buying pre-cut veggies so that there was a better chance they would end up on my plate.

Slowly, I started eating more of the good stuff.  Blueberries on my yogurt, a banana for my 10 AM snack, an apple in the afternoon.  Put a bowl of clementines on my desk and I’ll eat those before I reach for the bowl of chocolates.  A frozen burrito for lunch?  Choose the veggie version.  Omelet for breakfast?  Add mushrooms, onions and peppers, top it with salsa.  It’s all good.  And in the last month, most days I’ve not only achieved the 5 fruits and veggies a day, I’ve surpassed that mark.   On the days I don’t, I’m usually at 4 servings. It has become a habit and I don’t think it is one that I will break anytime soon.

I still need to find 12 more goals for my 52 Project – suggestions, anyone?

Interesting reading on habits:

http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/form-a-habit.htm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/forming-new-habits_b_5104807.html

http://www.thelighthouseyoga.com/retreat-event/40-days-to-change-a-habit

http://www.npr.org/2012/03/05/147192599/habits-how-they-form-and-how-to-break-them

I had a bit of trepidation about tackling this project.  I’m pretty good about starting out strong and then letting projects fall by the wayside.  That’s part of the reason it took almost 4 months for me to start writing about the 52 Project,  I had to make sure I was going to see this through.  But the truth is, by choosing things that add joy to my life it’s more fun than it is work.  I now have a reason to do the things that make me happy.

Case in point is #1: Read 52 books.

For a bibliophile, this is a dream come true. Reading has always been an addiction for me, the way I dreamed, escaped, relaxed, expanded my horizons.  As a teenager I would stay up almost all night reading ‘just one more chapter’.  I would get nervous when I was in the last half of my current book and I didn’t have a new book waiting.  Trips to the bookstore were right up there with a fantasy vacation to a tropical island.

As life became more hectic, reading was something I started to deny myself.  Raising my boys, I would reserve it for the hour at the end of the day when I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open.  I felt guilty if I sat down to read before the kitchen was clean or the laundry was done. Not a healthy attitude.  Putting this goal at the top of the list was deliberate.  If any thing brings me joy, it’s reading.

Starting week 16, I’m almost done book 17.  I’ve been having a blast picking a variety of books; my usual chick lit, biographies, historical fiction, inspirational non-fiction, and a bevy of Christmas stories. I’ve been reading in all my usual places but even better, I’ve been turning off the TV and curling up in a chair with a book. It’s pure decadence to give into my addiction.  Just over 1/4 of the way through, I’m like a kid in a candy shop as I look for new books to read. Feel free to share your recommendations.

My inner librarian can’t keep good books to myself so I’m going to sprinkle my posts with some short plugs for the ones that impress me. Remember Judy Blume and “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” ?  Judy Blume, now in her 70’s, is still writing but has switched to adult fiction. This year brought “In the Unlikely Event”, a fiction novel based on real events in the early 1950’s in Elizabeth, New Jersey.  Three planes crashed in Elizabeth in a short 3 month span of time.  My mom remembered this series of accidents so it added to the appeal of the book. The story is told from the perspective of a teenage girl and the people in her life.  While the story was a bit disconcerting, it moved quickly and brought home the tremendous impact that outside events can have on lives.  I highly recommend the book as a fast but not fluffy read.

Why do we deny ourselves that which brings us joy?  The dishes can wait.  We should not feel guilty for being good to ourselves.  Reading relaxes me in a way that no other activity does.  If I’m relaxed, I’m happy.  If I’m happy, I am better equipped to complete my work and I approach others in a better manner.  It’s a win win from all directions.

And just for the record, the all-night reading binges are a thing of the past.  Unless I’m on vacation.  Or it’s a Friday night.  Or the book is really fantastic….

52 things I will try to accomplish in the 52 weeks of my 52nd year of life, August 22, 2015- August 21, 2016.

The year I turned 50 was not my favorite.  While my friends were celebrating their 50th birthdays with epic celebrations, grand adventures, and admirable achievements, I spent the year mourning the loss of my husband. But time has a way of softening grief and bringing joy back to the forefront.  Turning 52 seemed to be like turning a corner – I felt ready to move forward.

I considered celebrating by hosting a ‘gratitude party’ or going on an exotic trip.  Great ideas but once they were over, life goes back to normal.  I contemplated doing something that would improve my health such as losing 52 pounds or training for a week long bike trip.  If you know me at all, you know those were not contemplated very long.  Those options sounded to much like work and not enough like celebrating.

I started thinking about what I wanted more of in my life.  I wanted more time to read, to spend more time with my family and friends, to bake more often and play more board games.  I wanted to garden more, become more organized, to treat myself better, to finish the projects I had started.  In other words, I wanted to stop putting off the things that bring me joy, peace, and contentment.

I also realized that I was 52 and there were 52 weeks in the year.  This led to me taking the things I wanted more of and creating 52 Project.  It’s a list of 52 things that I want to accomplish in the year between my 52nd and 53rd birthdays.  I’ve kept it simple:

• Everything on the list has 52 or some derivative thereof as part of it. 26 is half of 52, 104 is 52 doubled.
•  It has to be positive in nature.  Losing weight didn’t make the list.  Eating 5 fruits and vegetables on 52 different days did make the list.
• I can’t beat myself up for not accomplishing something but I can adjust as time goes on. Praying/meditating for 52 minutes a week quickly became Praying/meditating for 52 minutes a month.
• Things can be finite and quickly accomplished, such as planting 52 bulbs, or ongoing, such as walking 52 miles each month.

And so the list began.  It includes reading 52 books, emptying 52 boxes, feeding 52 people around my table(not all at the same time!), taking the bus to work 52 times, trying 52 new recipes, and writing 52 letters.  Now in week 15 of the 52, I’ve only finished a few things but I’m having fun making progress.  #17 on the list is to write 52 journal or blog entries.  When I told friends about the 52 Project many asked to be kept apprised of my progress. I’m all about being efficient so it seemed prudent to combine the two.  I invite you to check this page occasionally and see what’s on the list and how I’m progressing. It should be worth a few laughs. 😉